Learning in the Trenches
Public engagement in the trenches: Getting pushed to the edge
It felt like a total disaster!
In the moment, as my mind raced and I lost control of the agenda, negative self-talk kicked in big time.
I should know how to handle this!
Why isn’t anything working?!
You’re better than this!
As public engagement sessions go, this one will be hard to forget. It will stick with me for a long time because it's about getting pushed to my edge. These are some of the best experiences because it reminds us that no matter how experienced and prepared we are, public engagement can be a messy business, and stakeholder dynamics can go sideways fast. We are working with people about issues and topics that matter, which means we can’t always expect every conversation to go smoothly. I routinely remind myself that doing this work well is less about perfection and more about practice and a commitment to continuous improvement.
So if you’ve spent any time in the stakeholder engagement trenches, read on. I’m also sharing this story because there are some things you can only learn in the trenches, which is a lesson in itself.
The backstory: Timing is everything
It was a routine information-sharing session about a city project scheduled to go ahead — nothing earth shattering, nothing controversial. Folks in attendance had input on the project and were looking forward to the changes to come. Unbeknownst to me, however, the city sent notices out to residents two days before about an unrelated initiative — one that rubbed a few people the wrong way. Two of these residents decided to attend the virtual public engagement info-sharing session to voice their concerns.
Early in the session, I decided to unlock the audio for the approximately 25 folks in attendance. In my experience, allowing full audio more closely replicates an in-person conversation and establishes a more genuine tone.
About five minutes after we got underway, a participant opposed to the unrelated initiative they learned about a couple of days earlier interrupted the meeting with an angry tirade breathtaking in its volume and intensity. Another participant jumped in with similar angry comments. There was no build-up; these participants (with video cameras off) started at level ten and didn’t let up.
Within moments the chat lit up with various comments from others in attendance who wanted to hear about the scheduled topic, demanding the two angry participants to be quiet.
The session had gone off the rails!
It happens; I’ve got this.
Every public engagement professional with a few years of experience has faced disgruntled stakeholders. Angry words and personal attacks are the nature of the process. IAP2 offers training on the subject—in fact, I DELIVER that training. Surely, I had the above situation well in hand.
I thought I did.
I pulled out all the stops. I listened to the concerns, responded empathically, answered all of the angry questions hurled my way and tried to bring the conversation back to the agenda.
Nothing worked. The rage continued, and the other participants were getting upset about the hijacked meeting. As I contemplated the situation, I felt I had only one option. It went against the spirit of the session I had tried to establish, but I did it. I gave a warning and then turned off everyone’s audio.
Things remained spicy in the chat for a while, but we got through it.
Yikes! What just happened?
Here’s what I learned
I’ve thought a LOT about this experience. From the start, I didn’t want to make this about “a few awful people.” Because they weren’t awful, they had legitimate concerns, and their emotions were running high. Perhaps they didn’t manage their feelings the best way, but it was my responsibility to hold the space and navigate the issues.
So, what did this experience teach me?
Complacency is lethal
In retrospect, I should have treated this info-sharing session with more respect. Because I’ve facilitated too many of these types of meetings to count, I thought I could navigate it through muscle memory.
I hadn’t protected my physical and emotional levels. I facilitated another session earlier in the day, and my energy was not at 100 percent. I felt overwhelmed by this unexpected dynamic because I was nearing my capacity for the day, and that affected my decision-making.
Service to all
By endeavouring to lower the temperature of the two heated participants, I ignored the excitement and energy of the two dozen people who were eager to discuss the intended topic. I let things go on too long with a kind of tunnel vision towards “fixing” the situation. Yes, we need to be flexible and responsive to other issues that arise during a session, but abandoning the core agenda is not the answer when it doesn’t serve most people in the room.
“Cameras off” is a challenge to overcome
I always encourage virtual participants to turn their cameras on. Seeing everyone’s faces more closely replicates an in-person experience. But you can’t force people to do it, obviously. This extreme situation demonstrated just how big of a challenge it is as a facilitator to have audio only.
I was unable to see the two angry participants. It was difficult to “read” what was happening without the benefit of body language. Usually, based on physical cues, I can see where best to jump in and when things are about to escalate further. The session took me to my very edge, and I realize that I need to develop my auditory skills and find other ways to monitor mood, tension, and the level of connection with the process.
Don’t hesitate to take a pause.
Even though I felt conflicted at the time, shutting down the discussion by muting everyone was the right thing to do in the situation. We could have taken a physical break to reset and come back to the agenda if it had been an in-person session. Muting participants was the equivalent.
Even the most skilled at de-escalation won’t be successful all the time. There are moments when you just need to call it and find another avenue for irate participants to voice their concerns. At some point, persisting becomes destructive.
Your support team is your most valuable asset.
I give heartfelt thanks to my team, who had my back during the session. Even though they might not have agreed with how I handled the situation in the moment, they followed my lead. Knowing my team was ready to support me regardless made a very stressful situation a little easier to manage.
Learning in the trenches is necessary.
There is no better teacher than failure. There isn’t a role play, theory about human behavior, or blog post that could have taught me what I learned from this experience in the same indelible way. I needed to see it and experience it for real. I believe that’s how we build true wisdom.
What have you learned in the trenches? I’d love for you to reach out to tell me about it.
