Stand Your Ground

Unapologetically – Insist, hold and stand your ground for meaningful, better conversations

Just the other morning, I was aiming to survive yet another work out ... (three years later there is still nothing I like about getting up for early morning workouts but I never regret it afterwards!) and my virtual trainer was calling out various statements to believe in unapologetically. 

“Self care is up to you and only up to you”. 
“Your get out what you put in”. 
“You said yes – get all you can out of it!”.

While I don’t remember everything she said - the word, unapologetically, caught my attention...it’s a powerful word – with big meaning behind it. 

In its negative context it can refer to:

  • accepting no fault

  • being unmerciful or remorseless

But at the same time, it can also mean:

  • unashamed

  • expressing no regret

  • “because I believe in it deeply”

So, can do we do “unapologetically” well??

For me being unapologetic means being honest with yourself, trusting your instincts and having the courage to be vulnerable and share with others. Being unapologetic (about the things that are most important) is a powerful way to live and work and, dare I say, have a positive impact on people and issues around you. 

It made me think about our engagement processes and opportunities ... I’m a huge proponent of being flexible and responsive to changing needs and circumstances and to hold the experience of our participants, teams and communities at the centre of our work. 

But is there a place in P2 for being unapologetic? 

Where we insist, hold out or stand our ground because we know that it’s in the best interest of people and process. I’m going to go out on a limb and say unapologetically – YES!

For example….

  • I’ll say no to a facilitated townhall about a controversial issue - EVERY TIME (no good every comes of it). 

  • I’ll say “no thank you” to an “engagement process” that is actually a marketing, PR or education campaign – nothing wrong with work – they are important tools but they aren’t public engagement. 

  • I’ll insist that all voices matter and I am in service to everyone in the room – not just the loudest, privileged or most organized. 

  • I’ll stand firm in my belief that people have a right to a voice and a responsibility to use it with care, kindness and respect.

In the February issue of Daring Dialogue  (my monthly e-series) we shared our four ideas for being unapologetic AND being in relationships and connection with teams, groups, communities members or stakeholders. Ideally, we need to be able to stand firm in what we believe all the while not being overbearing and preachy. (We lose our impact as a never-ending soapbox) With these tips in mind, we hope you can speak your mind, create connection and NOT feel the need to apologize.

Download the 4 Ideas for Being Unapologetic here.

Why take this approach vs convincing or selling your idea?

Sticky, long-lasting change that we will adhere to and stand by requires conversation. When we are sold on an idea/choice or action it can be easy to let go, change our mind or be convinced of a different idea. It’s been my experience that when we stand our ground AND care about the person on the other side, we ignite ALL perspectives and opinion – hash them out and come up with much stronger commitments or choices.

AND IF YOU REMEMBER NOTHING ELSE: Be ready - once people have listened to you – be ready to listen to them – fully, consciously listen!

Kim Hyshka